Why Blue Christmas 2023
By: Molly Peele
Eleven years ago I attended a church Christmas concert. On paper it would have seemed to be a fairly normal evening with a list of familiar songs paired with Scripture readings and prayers. But my experience that night was not what I expected.
My father had just passed away weeks before. Lyrics about everyone being together for the holidays, that would have gone unnoticed the previous December, were now a source of pain. My mind responded sorrowfully, “Not everyone is going to be together this year.” Songs which typically produced joy, instead stung inside and exposed the significant loss I felt. While everyone else appeared solely delighted in the season, I felt alone in my grief.
Have you ever felt this way? Everyone else seems to be cheerfully moving through the Christmas season, anticipating joy and excitement or making preparations to be with their family and friends. But you only feel emptiness or loneliness or loss. Or, maybe you experience a mixture of feelings? You love the excitement of gathering with your family while simultaneously feeling the void of the one who is no longer there to share in the memories. The people, decorations, advertisements and events around us push for only happy emotions when inside us we actually feel sorrowful or a complexity of emotions ranging from regret to sorrow to joy to gratitude.
The Blue Christmas service seeks to acknowledge the complexities of loss, providing a space to lament the brokenness we experience in this world. Death is one form of loss. But there are many: loss of relationships, jobs, health, or unmet expectations or unfulfilled dreams. Through our lament and our presence, this service allows us to participate in recognizing that the world is not as it should be.
Lament —
In the delicate balance of doubt and hope, this service offers a space to be genuine before God with the complexities of loss. Instead of ignoring or suppressing our emotions, we are admitting them and allowing others to help bear the burdens of life with us. Just as we are told to “rejoice with those who rejoice” we are told to “weep with those who weep” (Rom 12:15). In sharing the difficulties — and not merely the joys of life — we bear burdens together. During the service we are together to seek God as our refuge, bring our cares to Him, and ask Him to remind us of His Son who came to be with us and to be our light. Immanuel, God with us. In the midst of pain, we remind each other of God’s promises and that He who promises is faithful.
Presence —
At Grace Harbor, we believe our presence is a foundational ministry to one another. Simply by gathering together at church weekly and meeting together throughout the week, we encourage one another. Being present with each other is a commitment and ministry. Think about our presence as a ministry to those who are mourning too. We may not always have “the right words” to say. But our presence is a means to acknowledge hardship and offer ourselves ready to listen as a means of comfort. Being physically present says, “I am here. I care.”
Why Blue Christmas for you? —
I want to invite you to come to this service. Come if you resonate with the feeling of missing someone or something and want to lament that. Come if you don’t resonate with that feeling but you want to minister to others by being with them in their pain. Come if you want to hear the promises of our Father who cares for those in their suffering.
There isn’t a pretty bow to wrap around loss. We are left with tension in this world between what God has accomplished in Christ and what is yet to be fulfilled. But what is our hope? At Christmas, we see in Jesus that God is with us. He is not distant. God wants to be with us. And He wants to comfort you with His presence. Let us seek God together in our pain and imitate Him - “the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort” (2 Cor 1:3) - through our presence with one another.
